


where the ocean stops and the sky starts

by marsakat



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magical Realism, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Coming of Age, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Near Death Experiences, Suicide Attempt, TOPBigBang2019, Water Guardians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 11:00:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 13,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20096167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marsakat/pseuds/marsakat
Summary: Josh’s imaginary friend was neither human nor imaginary, though questions of his existence were initially highly disputed. From the moment he saved Josh’s life at age four, they were permanently attached— best friends growing up together and discovering their destiny along the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Summertime_Poet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summertime_Poet/gifts).

> this fic was conceptualized nearly three years ago, I hope you enjoy.

When Josh toppled into his aunt’s swimming pool, his heart immediately began to race and he tried to scream, but the water rushing to full his mouth and nose prevented any call for help. At four years old, he rarely was let out his mother’s protective sight, so slipping away while his mother was distracted led him straight into his first life-or-death situation. Summertime swim lessons had not prepared him for this venture into the deep end.

He forgot everything he knew; too young to understand that you  _ should not _ panic. Josh flapped his arms uselessly, and head began dipping beneath the surface. Life became one singular purpose—oxygen, but Josh quickly found himself tiring, and his splashing ceased as he slipped under the surface. 

Josh was dying and no one would find out until it was too late—limp body bobbing to the surface. Dead before he even began to live, but thankfully that’s not how this story goes.

Hands—small hands—latched underneath Josh’s arms and pulled him back to the surface, back to life. Josh spewed water and choked while another person dragged him, paddling expertly and quickly to the edge—heaving him over to safe, solid ground. Josh kept coughing while his savior nimbly lifted themselves out of the pool to crouch next to him.

“Who-who are you?” Josh gasped, not recognizing this brown-eyed boy who seemed to be around his age, but was he even a boy? It took inhuman strength for such a small person to be able to rescue him. Fingers, with a thin membrane between each digit, came up to brush wet hair off Josh’s forehead. The boy hummed and smiled, proud of the job well done. “Who are you?” Josh repeated.

“Yours,” the boy said softly, “I’m yours. I saved you. You are mine.”

“Thank you,” Josh said politely, “What’s your name?”

“Name?” he tilted his head, “I dunno, maybe—”

A scream startled the two, and Josh’s mother came bursting out of the house, followed by other family members, “Josh! Get away from the pool! Oh God—did you go in?” She lifted him up, soaking her own clothes in the process, “Don’t ever do that again! You could’ve died!”

“He saved me!” Josh’s voice was muffled as she embraced him.

“Who?”

“That boy.”

“What boy? There isn’t any boy.”

“He’s right there—oh! I guess you all scared him off. I fell in and he pushed me out!”

They tsked and ignored his explanation, launching into an interminable series of lectures about never swimming alone. Josh’s mom had to be given a cup of tea to calm down, and Josh was given dry clothes. He wondered about the boy that had saved him, hoping to see him again to get some questions answered, though if it meant nearly drowning, maybe Josh would be content to wonder for longer.

He didn’t have to wait long, as the boy reappeared the very next day when Josh washing his hands.

“Hi!” he said happily, materializing suddenly in Josh’s bathroom. He was dressed as bright as his voice—neon colors clashing. “Just wanted to see if you’re okay today! Are you okay?”

“Yeah! Thanks!” If there was anything Josh’s mom taught him, it was to be polite. “So who are you? What’s your name?”

“Oh, um. I’m supposed to watch you, but I guess I don’t have a name yet,” the boy looked as if he’d forgotten something very important, worry creasing his face until it brightened again, and he said cheerfully, “you can name me if you want.”

“Cool!” Josh thought for a moment, finally deciding on a name of some character in a cartoon he liked, “You’re Tyler now!”

“I like that,” Tyler smiled, “We’re gonna be best friends.”

“I haven’t had a best friend before,” Josh confessed, “Where do you live? How do you get here?”

“Magic,” Tyler waggled his webbed fingers and Josh’s imaginings were confirmed, “I live with my mom and dad under the ocean. My mom said I was picked special for you and it’s important I keep an eye on you when you’re by water.”

“Why?” Josh asked suspiciously.

“Well you almost drowned, silly. I can’t let that happen. You’re my best friend,” Tyler bonked Josh on the head.

“We weren’t best friends then,” Josh pointed out.

“That doesn’t mean I’d let you die,” Tyler gasped, “We are supposed to be together forever.”

“Even when we’re old and wrinkly?” Josh crinkled his nose.

“Especially then! Whenever you’re touching water, I can be with you,” Tyler bounced on the balls of his feet.

“Okay! Lemme show you my room. If we’re gonna be friends forever, I have to show you my toys and…stuff…” Josh trailed off. Tyler had disappeared.

Remembering what Tyler had said, he ran his hands under the faucet again. Tyler popped back into the bathroom.

“Oops! I have to go back when you’re all dry ‘n all. C’mon, show me your room!” The two boys ran out of the bathroom, only able to play for ten more minutes before Tyler vanished again, and this time was permanent for the rest of the day.

Josh didn’t see Tyler again for the rest of the week, this new connection still tenuous and unpredictable. All Josh could talk about was Tyler—even though they barely knew each other, and Josh didn’t fully understand what was happening, he was enchanted by him. Josh’s parents would nod and smile, knowing he was at the right age for imaginary friends. They assumed this was just a phase, triggered by the pool incident, though they were only partially wrong.

Tyler appeared again while Josh was having bath time, dutifully covering his eyes the whole time until Josh was in pajamas, still soaking wet. Tyler hung around for even longer, stars in his eyes as the boy he was chosen to protect showed him how to have fun. They were equally taken with each other, and Tyler continued to pop in—frequently, other times with gaps in between. They missed each other a lot during those times.

The two still couldn’t figure out  _ what _ exactly Tyler was; he wrinkled his nose at being called a mermaid since he didn’t have a tail. Josh checked a book out of the library with the help of a librarian who enjoyed the little boy’s imagination. The book had many pictures and descriptions about all sorts about magical and mythical creatures. The closest they were able to define Tyler—sitting on the floor of the bathroom while the water ran—was some kind of fairy, maybe a water sprite. Privately, alone, Josh called him his guardian angel.

…

The years slipped by, and Josh’s parents grew worried that time and time again he wouldn’t shed this invisible friend. They caught him talking to someone that wasn’t there. Initially, he was annoyed, almost furious they could not see this ‘Tyler’ even though Josh insisted he was  _ right there _ . It got to the point that Josh had seemingly convinced his siblings to join in. They tried talking to Ashley, who stubbornly swore that Tyler was real and he was  _ there _ . Grounding them didn’t work, so they just let the kids play.

Josh learned to not mention Tyler around adults too much—they weren’t really able to see him. Other children didn’t mention how strange this boy was, Josh’s best friend who would show up during pool parties or trips to the beach. He didn’t go to school like normal kids, and his strange hands marked him as something else. But no one dared insult him or else they would find themselves slipping onto their butt, or water uncomfortably shooting up their nose.

Their time together wasn’t limited to summertime swimming or when Josh was bathing—no, Tyler would walk to school with Josh when the skies poured, or as soft flakes fell. Josh loved snow days even more than the average kid, since that meant a full day outside sledding with Tyler, tossing messy snowballs, until both were soaked and shivering. When the snow melted, they’d spend hours in the woods along the banks of a creek, imaging games and monsters that lurked between the trees.

Tyler never seemed to need anything, but that didn’t stop Josh wanting to bring him little gifts, which Tyler wasn’t able to bring back to the Other place. So Josh spent a lot of time sneaking candy and sweet treats to the bathroom.

“Josh! What are you doing?” His mother stopped him from sneaking up the stairs.

“Just taking a bath,” Josh said innocently.

“Not with the cookie jar, you aren’t!” She gestured for him to hand it back, and Josh put on a show of being reluctant to give it up. Little did she know that his pockets were filled with food, and he’d run to the bathroom, locking the door swiftly behind him.

They had a routine—Josh would set the water running and dip his hand in, then Tyler would appear. They’d discuss their days and all things boys normally talk about, while stuffing their faces. Then Josh would let Tyler out of the bathroom so he could actually bathe. Tyler would wait patiently in Josh’s room until the other returned, clean but still dripping wet. He didn’t mind air drying, for it only extended the time spent with his best friend.

Tyler loved video games even more than Josh did, which was funny since water and electricity shouldn’t mix. Josh would educate him on how to be a ‘normal’ kid, so Tyler could easily pass when they were in public, because the two boys planned on venturing out into the world together. They’d been to the beach, the lake, the waterpark, sledding, etc, but they dreamed of the day Tyler would be able to stay regardless of magical rules. They were stumped on how that’d work, but convinced they’d find some way.

Tyler would linger for over an hour before he was drawn back to his home, just in time for Josh to go to bed too. They always wanted more, but the rules wouldn’t allow for them to be together for much more than a few hours every week. The only respite when Josh would wake from a nightmare. They came somewhat regularly; a manifestation of the anxiety that was always bubbling beneath the surface. Josh would wake from dreams he could only remember the feel of, gasping for oxygen that felt like it was being pulled from thick, boggy air.

Josh would scramble for the little bowl that waited on his nightstand. As soon as his fingers found the water, a weight would fall on his bed. Tyler didn’t ask anymore; he wasn’t saving Josh from water, water was letting him come to save him from scary things in the night. Tyler would just crawl to lie next to Josh and let slippery fingers cool his charge’s brow. Josh would fall asleep easily, and Tyler would fade away after a few minutes. 

...

There was always so much for Tyler to learn, and ‘human stuff’ sometimes confused him, resulting in hilarity. He was often confused by seemingly every day objects, but the more he was exposed to, the quicker he picked up on it, such as not washing his hands in the men’s urinals. The first time they went into a city together and Josh doused himself with water to make Tyler appear, half the time was spent explaining what traffic was and preventing him from walking out into the middle of the street. 

The first time Tyler was summoned to a dentist appointment almost got the Duns banned entirely from that office. Tyler was horrified that there was a man with sharp metal objects approaching his friend he was supposed to be protecting. 

“No! Stop!” Tyler shouted, though the adult dentist couldn’t hear or see him. 

All he could see was the jet of water squirting from the sink directly into his face. 

“Aghhh!” the dentist shouted and stumbled backwards, knocking the tray of tools down to the ground. Everything clattered and Josh tried to control his giggles. 

“Tyler, it’s okay!” He called out, “He’s just doing a cleaning!”

“What?!” The dentist was soaked and Josh’s mom came running into the room from the clatter— she had stepped out for a minute to take Jordan to the bathroom and returned to mayhem. Several other staff members came to help and Tyler sulked in the corner, Josh quietly talking him down. 

“Sink malfunctioned, we’ll be right back to work in a jiffy.” The dentist was flustered, but he worked with kids so he had a cheery enough attitude. “Who’s Tyler?”

Josh hesitated to answer, the dentist’s hands went back into his mouth. 

“Oh that’s just Josh’s  _ friend _ ,” his mom said airily. “You know how kids are… I guess he was the reason why the sink malfunctioned?”

The two adults laughed and Josh was just beginning to realize that when grown-ups did that, it was because they found him silly or ‘precious’, laughing at his— and Tyler’s— expense. 

“I’ll get you next time.” Tyler muttered darkly, and sure enough, whenever Josh went to the dentist, if they weren’t careful with the sharp implements, they would get a quick squirt on the face. He grew up to have perfect teeth, regardless. 

…

The humidity in the summer air seemed to increase the likelihood that Tyler would appear. As if each invisibly hanging droplet had the potential to bring him springing into reality, ready for whatever scheme they could devise together. 

Josh looked forward to summer time; time spent away from school, which wasn't a happy place for him. He spent his days with Tyler, usually at the town pool. His mom or whoever was babysitting his siblings and him for the day would take them as soon as it would open, and they'd stay all the way until dinner time. 

"Stop running!" The lifeguards always shouted at him as he sprinted from the gate to cannonball into the pool. 

His towel and flip flops would be left on the cement as Josh shed them in his mad dash to the water. Josh wouldn't leave them for too long, just trying to get wet enough so Tyler would appear for the day. And he would— from the moment Josh’s toes touched the water till the last drops evaporated as they chased for fireflies in the summer dusk. 

“C’mon Ty,” Josh called. “Just jump in, you’ll be fine!” 

Tyler’s knees shook, and he stared down at Josh from twelve feet above the surface of the water. To be so far up in the air, he was well out of his element. His skin chilled in the breeze and Tyler only wanted to be surrounded by what he felt safest in. Too dry— too high—

“You’re going to be okay! The water is going to catch you!”

Tyler plunged, not thinking about the altitude, just following Josh’s voice down. The crashing filled his ears and he was  _ home _ . He could have stayed below the surface forever— but he opened his eyes to see Josh floating inches from him. They couldn’t talk underwater; they had tried before, so Tyler rose back to the surface, and Josh was already gushing about how Tyler had conquered the high five. 

“See?! Wasn’t that fun? Maybe we can learn to do backflips.”

Tyler shuddered briefly, “I’ll watch for now. You can do it.”

…

“I like these… hot dogs.” Tyler had very little grasp of not speaking with his mouth full. 

Josh nodded, having inhaled his lunch as well. Running around in the sun all day gave each of the growing boys an appetite. The snack bar at the pool was the designated meeting spot for seeing other kids from school. 

Josh compared the next year’s schedule with them. Tyler waited quietly— every year less and less people noticed him. He was fine with that, as long as Josh stuck with him. It made it easier on Josh to pretend he wasn’t there, especially when bullies lurked. 

“Oooh Joshie, where’s your invisible fairy friend?” mockingly called out for all to hear as the bully kid strutted by. 

Josh turned bright red and stammered; he’d been in mid conversation with some potential new friends and the embarrassment could cost him social cred in the fragile elementary school dynamics. The other two boys he’d been talking to laughed and looked at each other, and Tyler slipped away from behind Josh. Following behind the jerk, running since no lifeguard could see him, Tyler stuck his foot out and  _ thump _ . 

The bully tripped over the invisible limb and went down comically. The power switched, laughter, and Josh’s reputation was okay. He left his hand out behind his back and felt Tyler give him a subtle high five. 

…

Sometimes summertime meant camping, thankfully not far from a river. 

“What’s this?” Tyler asked, carefully handling the oozing graham cracker-chocolate-white stuff dessert.

“The best thing ever,” Josh proclaimed, having placed one foot in the river to summon him, just old even to be allowed to venture a little into the woods under the pretense of using the bathroom. “A S’mores!”

“S’more what?” 

Josh groaned. A scary story about hook handed highway murderers had him seeking comfort and a distraction. Watching Tyler make a mess of his face with the s’mores was enough to help him forget. 

“Good! But I got most of it all over myself— wait what’s that?”

Josh wheeled around, convinced he’d see an axe murderer standing behind him. 

“What?!”

“That—That tree rat!” Tyler pointed a chocolate-y finger at…

“A squirrel?” Josh squinted. “How’s this your first time seeing a squirrel?”

“They don’t swim so I don’t know.” He shrugged. 

It was no sense keeping track since there was always something land-related for Tyler to learn. Summers were probably the best times— so much water around and Josh had more spare time when he wasn’t in school, that’s not to say that winters didn’t have their fair share of fun.

“I have been thinking a lot about this, and I need you to get me some paper right now.” Tyler already was going a mile a minute from the moment Josh touched water the first snow day— and did so every year.

Tyler designed epic snow forts, and if the accumulation was high enough, a complex tunnel system ran between igloos. The cold didn’t touch him, and he kept digging even when Josh ran inside to thaw his fingers and nose. Tyler was invigorated by the thrill of snowball fights, envisioning sieges that lasted from sunup till dusk. The neighborhood kids joined in, the Dun house became the epicenter of a storm of snowballs flying back and forth.

Screams and cheers— no one questioning the strange boy in a bright jacket too light for the weather who directed the games. Even children who stopped seeing him on normal days somehow found they could, when caught up in the frenzy. 

…

“I’m turning ten tomorrow,” Tyler remarked one November day and Josh was flabbergasted. 

He had never asked his friend if he indeed had an age, or a specific day that was His Birthday. They’d celebrated many of Josh’s birthdays over the years—he’d been ten for a number of months now. Josh had assumed that Tyler didn’t know, since he was usually so touchy about his family’s strange traditions. There were too many rules and Tyler would say dully that his existence was dependent on Josh anyway, which was clearly a statement hammered into him by whoever were his teachers.

Josh was up half the night worrying what he’d do to make up for all the missed years, all the birthdays Tyler had let silently pass by. He awoke the next day with a plan; he played sick so his mother kept him home from school and when she left for errands, Josh baked a cake (his mother had shown him many times, and he felt confident in his abilities). It turned out pretty well for a ten year old boy—only slightly lopsided and his icing abilities needed more practice. But it was a cake!

Josh ran to the upstairs bathroom when he heard his mother’s car in the garage, shoving the cake in before dashing to his room to grab his backpack. He managed to lock the door just as his mother entered the house. He turned on the tap in the tub, and waited.

“Honey, are you okay?” His mother asked.

“Uh, no,” Josh’s mind worked quickly, “Just…taking a bath. You always say the steam is good when you’re sick. That’s what I’m, um, doing.”

“Do you need anything? You want me to come in?”

“No!” Josh said a little too quickly, “No, I don’t want to get you sick. Um. I’m okay.”

“Well, holler if you need me,” she wandered off, and Josh waited until he couldn’t hear her moving around before he began to decorate and blow up balloons. He was very nearly finished when he realized there were no candles for the cake, but it would have to do. Josh dipped his hands in the half-full bathtub.

“Hey Josh, what—”

“Happy birthday!” Josh cheered and Tyler’s jaw dropped.

“Is-is this for me?”

“Duh!” Josh nudged him, “Sorry I forgot the candles, but you can, like, pretend to blow them out. Make a wish!” 

Tyler scrunched up his face, thinking hard, and then blowing over nothing.

“I wished—”

“Shh!” Josh waved his arms, “Don’t tell me or it won’t come true!”

“Oh!” Tyler looked worried, “Can we eat the cake now?”

So they sat criss-cross applesauce and ate the cake with their bare hands since Josh forgot to bring forks (Tyler insisted they both wash their hands thoroughly). Tyler looked so overwhelmed, mouth opening every few bites as if he wanted to say something, but emotions welling in his throat stopped the overflowing happiness.

“My best friend,” was all Tyler could choke out with chocolate icing on his lips and sparkles in his eyes. And at only ten years of age, he was too young to understand the warmth in his heart, thoughts swirling in his head, were far beyond friendship or even guardianship. He’d look back later and understand, but just now he was floating.

…

“How do you spend your days, when you’re not, like, here with me?” Josh asked, many years into their friendship, realizing that he never asked Tyler this before. He felt almost selfish that he didn’t know too much about what Tyler did when they weren’t together. 

“Wait around for you to call me.” Tyler shrugged. They were sitting in Josh’s room, listening to some music Josh had gotten from a friend. His foot dangled off the bed into a bowl of water, while Tyler laid on his stomach on the floor. 

“That’s it?” Josh said incredulously, sitting up but keeping his foot submerged. 

“Well the days aren’t the same as they are here. It doesn’t feel as long, and before I know it, you’re calling me back. But anyway, I spend time with my parents and they teach me things.”

Josh had heard about Tyler’s parents before, but he took for granted that Tyler’s live was different. They knew each other so well and were so comfortable with each other, they didn’t need to really talk about the normal and mundane routine. There were too many adventures to be had on the surface, both boys focused more on doing as much as they could in the time they had together. If anything, Tyler was more interested in what it was like to be human. 

Except Josh’s curiousity was piqued, and the questions came quickly. “What are they teaching you? Do they have someone they guard too? Do you have a school?”

Tyler smiled. “Nah, there’s not really a school because there’s not so many kids in my… community. They just teach me what it’s like to be a guardian and all about the ocean and seas— like fishes and currents and stuff. I follow them around and watch them be guardians but, no— they don’t have a single person that’s just theirs. They used to when they were kids, too, but, uh, not anymore.”

“Why not?”

“Well…” Tyler was clearly uncomfortable, about to tell Josh something even he didn’t want to think about. “All guardian children get assigned a human to protect as part of their training. That’s why I’m with you. When we grow up, we don’t… we have to do this ceremony and then are assigned to a part of the sea to protect it and people who travel through.”

“And… and does that mean you’ll— um, you don’t see your uh, human again?” Josh was wide eyed, shocked and distressed.

Tyler couldn’t meet his gaze, trying to hide his feelings. He always had too many emotions, his parents and the other guardians always told him. To be a good protector, one had to cast their personal desires aside and only do what was best for their charge, even if it made all of them sad. 

“Yeah,” he said in a quiet voice. 

“No,” Josh protested. “I don’t like that— that’s not right. It’s not fair— we’re super close though, can’t we be a— um— a special circumstance?”

“I don’t know… maybe.” Tyler played with the frayed edge of the rug. “That won’t be for a long time. We’ll both be adults and you may, like, have a life and stuff and we’ll just—”

“No way!”

“That’s how it was for my parents.”

“Yeah, well we’re special. Did they hang out as much as we do? We’ll figure it out. You’re my best friend.”

“You’re mine too.” Tyler replied, and Josh was right. Everyone had told Tyler that his relationship with Josh was very different. And he had been warned— rejecting the path that was laid out in front of him meant losing everything he knew. Though he was so close to Josh, the idea of casting aside his family and his destiny felt utterly terrifying and something he would wait to figure out years down the road. 

…

Fireworks in the neighborhood where an all-year occurrence and not just saved for the Fourth of July. The whole sky was lit from the moment the new year turned. In the dead of winter, Josh and his whole family would stand on their front lawn to watch the flashing colors and sparkling rockets. He knew Tyler was entranced, as he was by most human things, and Josh would never let him miss it. 

“Oops,” Josh accidentally dumped his sparkling apple cider on himself. 

“Joshua!” His mom sighed, “Be careful with that glass.”

“Of course, ma,” he replied innocently before turning to smile at Tyler. 

Already the water guardian was staring at the sky. His fingers sought out Josh’s and they existed in silence. They were teenagers at this point and talking to one another when Josh’s mom already looked suspicious was taking to much of a chance. 

Tyler felt a draw, something pulling him to turn his attention from the sky to the boy next to him. His cheeks were pink, and lips maybe a little purple-blue from the cold. The fondness was always there, but something new was settling into Tyler’s gut, an emotion his parents had never told him to expect and nothing that Josh and him had ever discussed. It gnawed— like how Josh described hunger. It was human, too human, and it scared Tyler a little. 

It was a yearning to make Josh smile, to make him happy enough to turn to him and— and— 

Tyler didn’t know what he wanted, but he had to do  _ something _ . 

He raised his webbed hand, palm up and did something he had never done before. With all the good intentions in his heart, Tyler directed them skyward and little snowflakes cascades gently down around them. It wasn’t enough for Josh’s family to be suspicious, just the slightest of flurries, but Josh knew immediately.

“Are you making it snow?” He whispered, snowflakes settling on his eyelashes and the flash of a firework illuminating his face green. 

Tyler squeezed his fingers with his free hand. They stared at each other and it was a heavy moment— the moment that two people in love would kiss. At this point they were too young for that, though they were fast approaching that age of reckoning. All they could do was acknowledge the deep feelings and save the realization for later. 


	2. Chapter 2

There were storm clouds gathering in the distance as adolescence approached like a colossal obstacle that must be climbed. Gone were the carefree days, not worrying who was cool, who liked who, and who was a loser. It seemed the answer to the latter was  _ Josh Dun _ and kids were crueler than ever. The way he talked, his eyes, his height, and the fact that these kids knew him for so many years provided endless fodder for bullying. The seemed to have forgotten that the Tyler they made fun of him for, they had seen with their own eyes. As if by aging up, they forgot what actually happened.

Josh was just so lonely even though there were a few friends that stuck by him. It was just hard to make it through free period with verbal jabs that took his breath away almost as much as the bigger boys shoving him to the ground. Josh would slip off to a quiet hallway in his middle school, pressing the button for the water fountain until his hand was wet and there was a presence behind him. 

Tyler was there. Tyler understood—he too battled loneliness, though in a different way. More so the solitude of being one of only a few in his species. His time with Josh was not nearly as long as he’d hope, and Tyler would spend the precious moments trying to have fun before being sent back waiting to be needed again. He didn’t share this pain, this isolation with Josh because he saw enough of Josh’s blues to not want to worry him. Tyler bottled it all inside, spending the limbo times in actual limbo, sometimes ignoring the tugs from the sheer heaviness he felt all over.

And instead of just accepting how the cards were dealt, Josh began questioning why to everything. Tyler certainly didn’t have all the answers, and the twisting, burning in his stomach manifested when Josh’s questions turned on him.

They’d been sitting after a particularly bad day at school (Josh had been forced to stand in a toilet—Tyler had come way too late to save him the indignity of wet shoes and jeers. He’d taken a shower to wash the humiliation away while Tyler repeated apology after apology), watching the local news and a story about a boy falling from a boat and drowning that was drawing horror from them. The world was so unfair, Josh wanted to hit something—make something else hurt as much as he did.

“Why did that kid have to die?” Josh said, angrier than he intended and Tyler jumped.

“I dunno,” he replied tentatively, and curled into a ball on the couch. Josh wasn’t ready to be calmed, flaring up in rage and jumping up to start pacing.

“Why me?” he shot at Tyler, “Why doesn’t everyone get a guardian? Why don’t you help anyone else? I haven’t nearly died in years and here you still are. You could’ve helped him! He’s just a little kid. It. Isn’t. Fair.”

“The rules—”

“Screw the rules. Who are you even helping anyway? I’m not worth all your energy, go find someone else to follow like a puppy dog,” Josh felt so worthless, he didn’t even regret saying it. He stormed to his room, Tyler taking a couple steps behind him before realizing he was only being exactly what Josh didn’t want.

He stayed down in the living room, standing as if still deciding to chase Josh anyway. The television continued to play in the background as Tyler’s ears strained to listen to Josh’s movements upstairs. A stereo thudded on and Tyler let himself stay until he faded away.

It was as if a bridge had been crossed and the resulting tension was brimming. Josh begged privacy even though he craved for intimacy and someone to tell him he’d be alright in the end—and that he wasn’t alone no matter what.

“Gross! Dude, stop watching me,” Josh shouted after Tyler appeared while he showered, not so coincidentally on the same day some boy in his class called a shirt he’d worn a hundred times before ‘gay’. Josh was trying to ignore that fact, questioning if it could be true. Had all these other people noticed this before he did? Josh tried exploring his own body, but it was hard with his best friend appearing every time he got some alone time in the shower.

Josh was just so angry all the time; the unfairness of it all, the fear of what would happen to him next, the guilt at causing pain to his parents and to Tyler, but it’d only spiral down to him hurting everyone even more. He was pushing them all away, preferring to stay locked in his room, and feeling a sick pleasure that Tyler wasn’t coming even when he submerged himself in the bathtub. 

Josh would lie there, letting the air slip out and water rush into his mouth, whispering Tyler’s name, until instinct pulled him to rise up and cough. He wanted, he needed to be saved again; he didn’t care if it was from the water or from himself.

Tyler’s purpose was gone, and his existence was meaningless. He let the currents pull him and tear him, wondering if he was even able to die. What did his people normally do? They all seemed more than happy to just drift and wait, tied to one person, occasionally mating with another of their number to make a new one. But no one ever wanted to be human, like him. Their brains seemed unable to comprehend the endless potential if they broke out of the ordinary. But Tyler was alone in his desire to stay Above, without being forced to return to their humdrum. He wanted to go to school, he wanted to be seen, he wanted to stay.

But even as he dreamed of being independent, of staying on dry land, a new scary thought creeped into his head. All those other children as they aged had forgotten about him, what if  _ Josh _ was next? Will there be a day when he arrived to find Josh unable to see him? Despite their promises over the years, was Josh growing up and away from him?

It was a form of self-penance, and even a little bit of punishment directed Tyler to ignore the call above the water. He’d been having so many feelings he wasn’t allowed to have, and Tyler couldn’t bear being the source of Josh’s trouble yet again.

And so, Tyler wasn’t there when Josh decided to ditch his growing mountain of homework and head to the creek of his childhood with his small group of friends. They didn’t play pretend or build a fort like they had years before, instead tossing rocks far off into the trees while talking about girls, and then roughhousing that led to a chase.

Josh had felt comfortable around water, always expecting Tyler to save him, to use his powers to keep him afloat. Tyler could do such amazing things, that Josh always felt safe. But he forgot Tyler needed to be there.

Josh was close to being tackled and becoming ‘It’, but he was speedy and turned a sharp right to the creek where some rocks served as a bridge to the other side. Surely the other boy wouldn’t be as fast or as brave as him.

And he was right, but he was also wrong about how safe he truly was. The dark rocks hid how wet they were, and Josh only made it halfway before he slipped. Hands flailing, he tried to right himself but it was hopeless. 

His last hope—a foolish thought—was that surely Tyler would swoop in, forcing a wave to swell and catch him. The wave would pull him from harm’s way and the unforgiving surface of the rocks beneath him. He’d get soaked, and Josh would be shivering and cold in the autumn air, but he’d be okay. Tyler would shake his head at Josh’s recklessness, and he’d scold and worry. But they’d be okay. It’d be like it used to be.

But Tyler wasn’t there. Tyler was underwater far away, ignoring the tug and call that Josh  _ needed _ him, because Josh hadn’t  _ needed _ him in a long time. Josh would just have to learn how to deal with things on his own, Tyler reasoned, his heart blackened and dark side whispering truths he tried to ignore.

And so Josh fell with no one to stop his head from striking the rock, slicing his skin and rattling his brain. There was a crunch of bone against hard surface, a weak cry, and then a splash as Josh rolled into the stream swollen by October rains.

It happened so fast; Josh was blinded by pain and confusion and the drowning he’d craved in those dark moments submerged in his bathtub. He couldn’t tell up from down, felt himself rolling and tossing against more immovable objects. Everything hurt, everything was cold, and gone was air from the world—Josh was once again dying.

_ Tyler’s gonna save me _

_ Tyler’s gonna save me. _

_ Tyler, Please _

_ Please _

_ Ty— _

It was quickly turning black—the mind can only be deprived of oxygen for so long, and Josh was bleeding everywhere. He was submitting to the force that should’ve killed him all those years before. Josh had been only living on borrowed time.

Hands were grabbing him. Was he in the clutches of angels who were delivering him to the heaven he’d been promised every Sunday? Or were his sins, his hidden thoughts and desires too disgusting to deserve paradise? Josh had lost the ability to pray, his brain reeling from the injury and impending death to recite the words he’d memorized.

Josh could feel himself being dragged and lifted, water spewing from his mouth, and he was surrendering to fate, to the darkness and abyss. He felt nothing anymore.

Tyler felt the pull harder than ever, and he was doubled over in pain ignoring Josh’s call for him. He felt a snap somewhere in his core, and Tyler screamed. 

Something had happened to Josh, and it was his fault. There was no explanation for the sudden lack of sensation after it had been so intense. He just knew. Tyler spun himself dizzy trying everything he could think of to get there, to wherever Josh was, to see what he believed to have happened didn’t.

Tyler thrashed and wailed then tried to make his way to the surface. But no matter how hard, how fast, or how long he swam, he couldn’t get any closer to the water’s edge.

He gave up and could almost see Josh slipping through his fingertips like the rays of sunshine beaming from the surface. And just like the dimming of the light, Tyler slipped towards the bottom of the ocean again. The birthday wish made only a few short years ago—it felt like a lifetime—was impossible now, so why bother trying to stay afloat?

Josh woke up in the hospital with a terrible pain in his head and scratching in his throat, still feeling soaked although he’d been dried off an unknown number of hours before. His parents waited at the bedside with reddened eyes and questions that made his whole body throb. Josh whispered his exhaustion and he wasn’t lying, so he drifted off again. 

The next time he awoke he was alone, and the pain was only slightly better, so he was able to think more. Josh let his hand wander to find a big fluffy bandage wrapping his head, later discovering that all his hair had been buzzed off.

He nearly died, and the shock shot through him as he realized. Was he scared? No, he was disappointed. Josh felt emptiness as if he’d left all his insides behind among the rocks and rushing water. He couldn’t see it getting any better; life had taken a sharp downturn as soon as he’d hit his teenage years.

He curled on his side and looked at the table next to the bed. A water pitcher sat there and Josh reached before he even thought about it; a gesture he’d been doing since age four. He didn’t think about what he wanted or needed from Tyler, Josh just called for him.

Tyler didn’t know how much time passed. Since there was no purpose to his existence anymore, what was the point? So when he felt the tug back to the surface, he went without thinking about what it meant. Tyler didn’t expect to see Josh, he didn’t expect anything. Part of him wondered if the image of Josh watching him from the white bed was just a dream.

“You came,” Josh said flatly.

Tyler nodded, “You’re alive.” And he reached with shaking hands, fingers that marked him as different.

“No thanks to you,” Josh replied bitterly and Tyler stopped his movement, “Where were you?” Josh felt something—anger, hurt, shame—rising in his throat and lodging somewhere behind his voice.

“I-I don’t know. I—you told me not to come so often,” Tyler leapt in to defensive mode with the glare Josh fixed him with.

“Oh, so it’s my fault,” Josh crossed his arms, “What’s the point of you? You’re supposed to save me, so what’s the use if you can’t even do that right?”

The water pitcher exploded as did the bag of IV fluid hanging next to Josh’s bed. The tap in the bathroom forced out water at an alarming rate. Josh found himself drenched as the water was concentrated at him.

Spluttering, he wiped his eyes and Tyler was gone.

_ Good _ , he thought and instantly regretted it. He reacted in rage and lost the only friend that still cared about him. He tried to will him back, but nothing—nothing he could think of would make Tyler appear. Josh finally began to cry just as a nurse entered the room to find it flooded.

Tyler didn’t go back to the sea. He went to the place of shining lights, a meadow full of gently glowing flowers, twilight, and a warm breeze that brushed his skin like steam on a cold day. He’d only heard about it whispered in legend, but he was too torn apart to wonder how he ended up here. Guilt was devouring him and he fell to his knees among the tulips that sung quietly.

His watch lapsed. His charge almost died. He failed. Tyler was worse than useless—he was a waste and a hindrance. If Tyler knew how to die, he would. Without questions, but then—what if Josh needed him? What if Josh stopped being angry? Tyler had a single ray of hope that maybe…maybe…Josh would see reason. 

The flowers played their music and lulled him into a timeless sleep.

…

Josh got two full weeks off from school as a result, his parent’s fear only turning into overprotective anger. He was too reckless, they claimed, and made him stay inside. He was so bored, he looked forward to going back to school, as if he forgot what was waiting there for him.

With a shaved head, the kids laughed and flicked his ears. A few cornered him after school that very first day and told him they wish he had died. As they shoved him against the lockers, cold metal pressing into his cheek, Josh wished he had, too.

He ignored his parents and left the house, walking straight to creek where  _ it _ had happened. The days were shorter and it was getting chillier. He removed one shoe and one sock, dipping his toes into freezing water. They numbed and he wished for Tyler to come back. There was so much he wanted to say; confused feelings he wanted to put out into the open and address. But no Tyler appeared.

This daily ritual continued until frost coated the brown leaves of the forest. Josh concluded Tyler have been part of his imagination all along. He’d been suffering worse than ever these weeks; his parents told him he either had to shape up his attitude or they were going to send him away to military school, his siblings lived in fear of his anger that shook the walls from slammed doors, the kids at school were leaving disgusting things in his locker. And no Tyler anymore.

Josh was hated by everyone, and his backpack rattled with a little something extra today.

Snowflakes descended from between the tree branches and clung to his eyelashes as unwanted tears began to fall. This was his last time walking here, and he was never going to leave. 

He didn’t take off his shoe when he arrived at the spot. He just sat down heavily into the bank of the river and watched the water flow by. It hadn’t frozen yet, but soon it will—Josh wouldn’t be there to watch it. He was trying to get the courage to unzip the bag, pull out the sleeping pills and bottle of vodka he’d stolen, and _ end it all _ . He’d already written his note—that too was in the bag. But something held him back.

He planned not to touch the water—just wanting to listen to its voice as he drifted off, but still he was drawn to it. He wanted to fall in and be pulled off to find Tyler, to apologize. 

His shoes were still on when he stuck his feet into the stream, shocking him instantly. It burnt and he could only tolerate it for a few seconds. He waited with bated breath, but still he was alone in the woods.

Josh climbed back onto the bank and shivered. That was it. There was no one holding him back.

Josh’s hands shook as he drew out his supplies. He weighed the bottle of pills, listening to them rattle. Could he? Could he really do this?

_ Goodbye _

“Josh?” a voice that, regardless of what had happened, was full of quiet love. Happy to be called back— _ hope _ . He’d awoken from his hibernation in the radiant field, feeling he had to  _ go _ and here he was.

Josh dropped the bottle in surprise, “Ty?”

The boy was standing shoeless in the snow, unaffected by the cold. His skin shone with an inner rejuvenated light in the fading sun, “I’m sor—”

“No,” Josh cut across him, standing up to face his guardian, “I was an ass. You’re my best friend, and I blamed you for something stupid. I’ve been, like, so mean to you, and I’m sorry.” 

The words tumbled out, what he planned to say all along, ever since Tyler left him in that hospital bed.

“I love you,” Tyler confessed and the words hung like the clouds of breath in the winter’s chill.

“I love you more,” Josh replied.

“I love you most,” Tyler smiled.

“I love you mostest,” Josh giggled, and Tyler collided with him. The rocked back in forth in the quiet solitude of the forest.

Not everything was fixed, Josh shouldered his bag and made the long walk back to his house. He was still hurt, still broken, it’s just that now he had his best friend by his side. And Tyler would stay for the conversation with his parents.

“Momma?” Josh said, and she turned from the stove to her very damp son.

“What’s the matter, Josh?”

“Mom, I—I need help,” the hardest thing he ever had to admit, but Tyler was there. Tyler held his hand loosely, invisible to the adults.

Things were going to get better now.


	3. Chapter 3

And they did.

Slowly, every day a small step forward, while others drew back from the progress made. He tried.  _ They _ tried. Josh went to a new school and started therapy. He got better at communicating his feelings, and Tyler stuck around as much as he could. Josh’s family often joked that Josh was probably the cleanest teenager from the sheer number of showers he took.

When they said ‘I love you’, it uncovered feelings and desires that their young minds couldn’t fully comprehend. Probably Tyler realized it first as love—true love. That his life was wrapped up in Josh’s destiny, that they were meant to be. Josh was his beginning and end, and everything in-between.

It took Josh longer to understand, as it seemed to always happen.

Years had passed and they were both a little wiser than they had been on the edge of the brook. They were on vacation somewhere warm and with a beach when Josh wondered aloud, “How do you know you love someone?”

They had waded out to chest deep into the waves. Tyler paddled in circles around Josh, who dug his toes in the sand. At Josh’s words, he dipped below the surface, as if to stall, and then rose back up slowly on his back.

He gazed into the sky and chose his reply carefully, “Depends.”

“On what?”

“What kind of love. Do you mean your parents or siblings? Or like a crush?”

“Yeah, that,” Josh nodded, “How do people know they’ve met their ‘one true love’?” Josh’s fingers came up from the water to make airquotes.

“It’s like…the person makes you happier and better. You couldn’t imagine living without them, because they make everything….I dunno…Being around them makes it feel like…”

“Like it’s your birthday every day?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Tyler was squirming under Josh’s examining gaze. The object of his infatuation and devotion asking him bluntly about love—it was just too much. “Why’re you asking?”

Josh shrugged, splashing the water around his arms and shoulders. His skin was tanned and freckles, Tyler noticed— each day of summer and especially on vacation, he took well to the sun. It was truly a perfect day in the sea, but Tyler was scared where this conversation was leading. 

“Dunno… everyone else seems to be in relationships and stuff and I just… haven’t. Some of my friends said they were gonna get me a date with a girl back home once I come back.”

“Oh um, that’s cool.”

Josh shrugged again. “I said yes cuz they kept asking me why I haven’t gone out with anyone.”

“And why haven’t you?” Tyler asked. 

“Never really liked anyone.” Josh replied. “It was awkward, though— them asking.”

“I bet.”

“Do you like anyone? Like are there any cute water guardians? You all like date and get married and stuff? Your parents are and all.”

“Yeah we do, but I uh— don’t really like anyone either.”

“Oh.” Josh said and they lapsed into silence. 

“Funny how you said it was awkward that they asked you… and then you asked me.” Tyler pointed out, as they began to paddle back to shore with Josh’s mom calling that lunch was ready. 

Josh laughed a little, “Yeah, you’re right. I just figured it was different, you know, between us. They’re my friends and stuff, but you’re  _ Tyler _ . You’re… yeah.”

“What? Scared I’m gonna get a girlfriend and stop hanging out with you?” Carefully, the conversation was steering back into their normal banter, but there was something underlying. 

“Well then I’ll just have to find a girlfriend too. You’re even more jealous then I am about stuff!”

“Am not!”

“Says the guy who  _ accidentally _ drenched that girl who landed on me in Spin-the-Bottle at that pool party in sophomore year,” Josh replied. 

“I just didn’t want your first kiss to be meaningless, okay? It was just a dumb game!”

“I didn’t care! I just wanted a kiss!” Josh nudged Tyler with his shoulder and sent him stumbling across the sand, dramatically. 

“I’m looking out for you. I’m your guardian after all!” Tyler proclaimed, coming back to nudge Josh in return. 

“What? Do you wanna kiss me instead?”

“Sounds like you’d like that a lot.” Tyler’s tone was teasing, boys making fun of another but the energy was charged. 

“Shut up, my mom’s nearby.” Josh’s words didn’t have any bite, but both felt shaky from where they had strayed to. 

…

The crazy things people do for love— or at least to impress their childhood best friend now focus of their heart’s desire. 

“You can’t be serious,” Tyler said, peering over the edge of the cliff. “Josh, you’ve done enough stupid things near water. C’mon... I don’t think any other guardian has had to work as hard as me.”

Josh let him gripe. He had found a group of people around his age—late teens—at the hotel where his family and he had been staying. Tyler was used to tagging along and keeping his commentary one sided when Josh was with others, and they had their own silent way of communicating. The group was one of those things that happen when young people are stuck somewhere isolated and they gravitate together. After a bit of… recreational activities, they hiked up to watch a sunset together for more… recreational activities. 

The other kids jeered and goaded each other; “you’re too chicken shit to jump,” “yeah, well I don’t see you jumping.”

“If you’ve been smoking weed, it’s probably not a good idea to go cliff diving,” Tyler insisted, in an aside to Josh. “Dude, don’t do—ah, never mind.”

Josh took a running start and leapt off the edge, cheering. Tyler sighed and jumped in after him, though the other excited people didn’t see him. They were close to following Josh in, not noticing he was being brought to shore quicker than he appeared to be swimming. 

“Sheesh, are you trying to get killed?” Tyler complainer, his arms around Josh’s torso as he pulled him to the beach.

Josh smiled, not explaining why he did it, not even really understanding it more than how much he wanted and enjoyed Tyler grabbing him and dragging him along. Sure— Tyler was irritated and his skin stung from hitting the water, but there was something so forbidden and thrilling about getting saved again. And yes, he always had Tyler’s attention, but he just was young and full of hormones that gave him reckless ideas. 

He could count on Tyler at least, despite the trail of muttered curses. Josh’s mind was hazy from the summer and wondering… what was possible. He even pushed the edge a little more and more, letting his body brush against Tyler’s always slightly cooler skin. The yearning was so acute, he was practically consumed with  _ wanting  _ Tyler, and it scared him a little when he let his brain work and not the hormones racing through him. His best friend since childhood— it was a huge step to… to talk to Tyler about what he was feeling. But also he always felt so safe with him that when he was alone and thinking about Tyler, it wasn’t just physical fantasies.

Josh could imagine the rest of his life with Tyler. He felt a warm, tingling thrill to consider growing old together, having kids,  _ being married _ to him. 

He realized, on the trip back home— bumping along in the far backseat of his parent’s van—that he didn’t need to go on that date his friends were planning. Josh hadn’t really needed to ask Tyler what it felt like to be in love.

Josh had known what it was like all along.

He was in love with Tyler.

…

Josh may have realized the true nature of his feelings, but he was years behind Tyler who had known but withheld because of the implications. That in loving Josh, he was doomed to not live his destiny. 

“But what is my destiny?” Tyler would ask, yell into the currents that flowed around him as he swam out into the open sea. Alone, so no one could hear him but the ocean who was an entity all to their self. 

Was his destiny to stay or was he placed with Josh to be with him forever?

The ocean didn’t answer, just pulled Tyler to where he needed to be. The floor was too far to be seen, and light faded. Tyler began to feel something he hadn’t experienced before. There were barely words for the sensation, the numbing pain across his skin and over every inch of him. He curled in on himself, feeling as if he could break apart. It was impossible he was— Tyler was feeling… cold.

His body was overcome with uncontrollable shaking. The ocean was freezing where he was, and that had never bothered him before. Even though Tyler was desperately trying to warm himself, he could hear the elders’ lessons that any sort of major change like that was symbolic of something dreadful. A guardian who suffered from temperature changes; it was an omen that he was committing some grave sin, Tyler thought.

The familiar pull towards the surface was welcomed but he could barely acknowledge it since he was so fraught with worry over possibly losing his powers and terrified from the chill that settled into his bones. 

“Hey Tyl— what’s wrong? Are you sick? Ty?” Josh was instantly aware that something wasn’t right. He had summoned him in the bathroom, several weeks after returning from summer vacation, and expecting to just have a normal evening together.

Tyler couldn’t speak, and Josh grabbed him. If Tyler was ice, Josh was pure, radiating warmth— not fire, not painful and burning, but Tyler melted against him. He tried to absorb everything, to shake the fear and cold from his body.

“I- I- d-don’t know, b-but s-so cold.”

“It’s okay… it’s okay, I’m gonna— we’re going to go in the bathtub.” Josh continued to hold Tyler and move them as one to the tub so he could turn on the hot water. Tyler stayed attached to him and there was no way that Josh would ever push him away, especially in this vulnerable moment. 

“C’mon, we’re going into the tub.” They climbed in together, stripped down just to their boxer briefs. Josh let Tyler stay on top of him, a barrier between the cool porcelain. 

The steaming water took them both and brought life back to Tyler’s limbs. His breaths evened out, unaware that he had been panting. The dizziness in his head eased and finally Tyler felt normal. 

“Thank you,” Tyler whispered, eyes closed with his head on Josh’s chest. Tiny droplets clung to his eyelashes. Josh had time to study his face at the close angle he’d been wanting. “D-dunno what happened to me, but… thank you.” 

“Anytime…” Josh’s voice was unexpectedly hoarse, a lump in his throat with all the emotions he was feeling for the being in his arms, “anything for you.”

Tyler’s sigh was content and they said no more to each other until the bathwater lost all its heat.

“So what was that?” Josh asked as he handed a fluffy towel to Tyler. Sure, he may not normally need to dry off, but something had shifted for him.

Tyler shook his head. “Not sure. I don’t know if… if something is happening to my abilities.”

“Why’s that?”

“I... I’m getting close to the age where I become a full guardian. I think a lot of things are going to change.” Tyler couldn’t make eye contact; it wasn’t just that of course.

“How long do you have to live in that corner of the ocean? It’s not forever, right? Your parents live together and there’s other people who live where you live, so it’s not like you’re alone always.”

“That’s true. I think they stayed at least a hundred years… whenever the ocean tells you it’s time. We just follow wherever we’re sent.”

Josh paused, “what if you… don’t?”

Tyler knew he would ask, wondered if he’d ask him to stay when the time came, and was scared of his own answer. 

“I lose everything.” He whispered, finally revealing the consequences.

“Even me?”

“No.” His one temptation, so close to him in that bathroom. Still dripping wet, Josh looked between Tyler’s eyes and seemed to read what he had been looking for.

“I can’t imagine life without you nearby.”

“Josh… I—”

He didn’t need any further proof than what Tyler’s face betrayed. “You’re in love with me, too.” 

And then Josh pulled Tyler in for a kiss.

At first they didn’t move, surprised to find themselves in that position. But with the realization that the world hadn’t split apart and they hadn’t been struck by lightning, the two became more comfortable. Tyler snaked his arms around Josh’s neck, finding the edge of the sink along his back as he was pressed firmly into it. He didn’t mind, more entranced by feeling Josh pressed all along his front; damp and warm, held so close and so safe. 

Josh parted his lips, and Tyler introduced just the very tip of his tongue, experimental in his discovery of the very taste of Josh. It was everything he ever could have imagined, and more than he knew it could be. It changed everything, rocked them to the core of their existence. They both felt completed.

When they finally surfaced for air, their smiles matched in brilliance, untouched by all the concerns of life outside of their entangled limbs. Everything had become so much more complicated, but they didn’t care. 

Together, they went right to Josh’s room, no need to speak— just a desire to stay close, to keep the excitement of  _ newness  _ going. Josh knew better than to towel off, but the drops on him were evaporating. Tyler lay on top of Josh, his hands pillowed under his chin and on Josh’s chest. Finally, he could relax and breath deeply as Josh stroked a hand up and down his back.

Josh found that touching Tyler was like running a hand along the glassy exterior of a deep pool of water, breaking the surface tension and dipping into cool water. As if it could support weight, but finding that in water, you will only sink and be absorbed. He too was lulled into a trance-like state, near sleep and the happiest he had ever felt. 

When Tyler dissolved away, it felt like he became water, slipping and dripping away— the weight left Josh’s torso, but he just fell deeper, finally asleep. Both could rest, content and safe— all their secrets were finally out, and their relationship had survived and grown.

...

The decision, the final ritual was approaching nearer and nearer— finally would happen on the eve of Tyler’s twentieth birthday. From their kiss, they had the summer and the fall—every day spent together when Josh wasn’t working. He even moved out to his own apartment so his parents wouldn’t question what he was doing for those many hours in his room, or walk in to find him embracing someone invisible. 

Other, wonderful things had changed; they noticed Tyler lingered longer than ever before. Josh would wake in the morning to still find him in his arms, even though he felt completely dry. Suddenly, more and more people noticed him— the barista at Starbucks asked for his order, the Uber driver said hello, and slowly Josh’s friends began to be introduced to Tyler. His family hadn’t seen him yet, but Tyler came to Sunday dinner in the hope that one day they would.

As soon as Halloween passed— Tyler dressed up in a matching skeleton costume since most of the party attendees could see him (between all the candy he ate and dancing with Josh, he felt so close to being human, it didn’t scare him for once)—they clung to one another desperately. Josh had never been more anxious than he was for the entire month of November, believing this could very well be the last weeks and days he spent with the love of his life. 

“Ask me to stay,” Tyler whispered, his lips against Josh’s cheek, bodies bundled together in blankets. It had been a long, stressful day at work for Josh, and every tick of the clock felt like a death sentence. 

“If you ask me to stay, I’ll do it. I’d give it all up and live up here with you.” 

“I can’t do that to you,” Josh said, every ounce of his being in protest to that statement. 

He wanted to make Tyler choose him, selfishly take him away from his family and home so they could be together for the rest of their lives. He was clouded with everything  _ Tyler _ , and he had been for a long time— Tyler as well— but he couldn’t… he couldn’t make the decision for him. 

“Don’t… don’t let me steer you in your decision. Do what’s right for you.”

Tyler shook his head, his hair brushing against Josh’s face. “I can’t do that— you’re affecting my decision just by existing, don’t you see? It’s all about you. Sometimes I think I know one way or another and then…  _ you _ .”

“But you can save so many people, and I’ll—I’ll travel to wherever you are. I can live on the shore and we can still be with each other.”

“What if it’s in the middle of the ocean?” Tyler pointed out.

“I’ll take a boat.”

“Even thousands of miles away from the nearest land?”

“I’ll live on the boat.” Josh knew his answers, stubborn to make this work.

“It won’t be the same. You’ll be human and I’ll be tied to the ocean- married to the ocean and there will always be something in the way. It won’t be a real relationship, and over time I will become less and less… me. My heart will belong to the sea and you’ll be chasing me and hating me for it.”

“I could never—”

“We have legends; my people tell stories about humans who tried to stay with us, and it always ends with them throwing themselves into the sea and the guardian dying from the guilt. If I make a decision, and I don’t want it to be halfway. Either I’m with the ocean or I’m human and with you.”

Josh knew he was right and loved him for it, deciding for no more pressure. They would live each day and December 1st will be the end or beginning. In their last days, they went back to the creek and sat for hours on a boulder, with their feet in the water, talking about their childhood together. 

“Remember our snow forts?”

“How about when you made that kid fall at the pool? What was his name?” 

“Don’t remember, doesn’t matter… he can suck it.”

“I remember how you’d call squirrels ‘tree rats’,” Josh laughed.

“How ‘bout the birthday cake you baked me!”

“Yeah, that was kinda impressive for a ten year-old.” 

“Oh… it’s almost…” Tyler got quiet, and Josh pulled him closer. He nestled into Josh’s hoodie and let himself simply exist.

...

They were just two boys, young men now, in love and with huge decisions in front of them. They tried to fight off the future, by walking through their pasts, but the day arrived. Once again, Josh surprised him with a home baked chocolate cake garnished with sprinkles. He remembered candles this time, and both their eyes shone with unshed tears as Tyler made his wish. He didn’t say what it was, of course, but Josh hoped that it was what he wished for.

“I- I…” Tyler struggled to find words, “it came out really well. The cake tastes good for someone who doesn’t cook ever.”

They tried to eat as much as they could, as if neither wanted to leave some behind for Josh to eat alone if Tyler wasn’t there later to share with him. They both were quieter— there was so much to say and neither wanted to spend their remaining time together inconsolable. It was surreal and Josh was holding Tyler’s hand harder than usual.

“How will you know when it’s time for the ritual?” Josh asked, not for the first time.

“I’ll feel the pull, and then I go to the ocean.” Tyler swallowed visibly, “so… uh, wasn’t there a gig or something you wanted to go to this weekend? Your friend’s band?”

“Oh yeah… I guess so. At Skully’s. Remember when I got beer dumped on me and you came in ready to fight?”

“Any time, dude.” Tyler smiled, playing with the leftover cake on his plate.

They tried to distract themselves with idle conversation about day-to-day things; friends and work-related things, what was happening on their favorite TV shows. A ticking time bomb was in the room and finally… it went off.

Tyler stood suddenly and his eyes were far off already. “It’s time.”

Josh’s heart plummeted and he grabbed desperately for Tyler. 

“I love you.” Josh said, pulling him into a final hug.

“I love you, too.” Tyler didn’t look at him, wasn’t able. He looked… not human in the blankness of his face.

“Thank you for saving me.” Josh squeezed tighter, holding his guardian for the final moments before he slipped away— impossible to contain like the water he belonged to.

Josh stared at his empty hands for a long time after, wondering what was happening to Tyler in a place he could never reach. It was the worst day and night of his life, and he existed as only half a person. Barren, insubstantial, lost. Tyler didn’t come back that day. 

Josh traced his steps until he found himself in bed alone, starting to believe that was what the rest of his life would be like. 


	4. Chapter 4

A single ray of light grew across the floor in Josh’s bedroom, reaching further and further till it found the exact angle to gradually wake Josh with its increasing intensity. He shaded his eyes, turning and mumbling, not wanting to leave his dreams that were unburdened with worry and the truth of what was waiting for him in the real world. But his body knew it was time, and he became aware of the sounds of the world around him.

A car or two passing outside his window, birds singing— it was morning. One eye opened and squinted away from the bright light. Josh rolled to the empty side of the bed and found another sleepy person lying next to him.

“Hey,” he said in a sleep-crackled voice.

“Hey,” Tyler replied with a smile. He was actually there— not an apparition of what Josh was hoping for.

Not a single drop of water on Josh, and yet Tyler was there. And he was going to be there for every morning then on. The decision had been made, and now they could really begin to live their lives together. 

...

It was immediately apparent that Tyler was visible to all now, and it would probably be an adjustment for him to learn to hide his reactions to dumb people and irritations. They went for a celebratory breakfast at Josh’s favorite coffeeshop and the barista had asked Tyler his order so naturally that it threw the both of them off— they had been there so many times before and Tyler had never been asked. 

Human needs; temperature, hunger, thirst, it was all so new for Tyler and he was in awe of the change in his existence.

“So what was it like? What did they have you do at the ritual?” Josh asked over a cinnamon roll and coffee. Tyler had ordered a roll as well, but neglected the coffee; he found out years before that he didn’t enjoy the taste at all.

“It was in some deep, dark part of the ocean with all the elders from the community. Lots of chanting and explanation of where we come from and what we do— legends and stuff. And then they recited everything…  _ everything _ I’ve done to protect you around water.”

“How did they know…” Josh whispered, a little horrified.

“Magic… or maybe I told them. I had to report back during my training days.” Tyler winked and took a bite of his roll. 

“Oh, phew.”

“And after that— which took awhile ‘cause there were many times when you had to be rescued—they recited this whole oath asking me to ‘abandon all humanly needs and wishes to take on the role of guardian to all’. That was the moment, and I said that I couldn’t do that. We all talked about it and I decided that I didn’t want that life. I wanted to be up here… with you.”

Josh placed his hand over Tyler’s, squeezing a bit as a thank you, though there wasn’t anything he could do besides loving Tyler for the rest of their lives that could describe exactly how momentous this was. 

“So what does it all mean for you now?”

“I’m… human now. Or at least as much as I can be since I wasn’t human to begin with. I can go to the cities under the sea to see my parents every once and a while but no longer than a few hours.” 

“That’s good. How about… your powers?” Josh asked hesitantly, not sure how Tyler would react. 

Tyler didn’t answer at first, looking between his own hands. “I… don’t know. I haven’t tried yet. I’m… nervous about it. I may have chosen to… not be one of them, but being able to  _ move  _ water… it’s a part of me I don’t know how I will feel when I know it’s gone.”

“Try it.” Josh said.

“Right now?” Tyler stared up at him with wide eyes, full of worry.

“Why not? Like tearing off a band-aid.”

He looked down at the table and— “Hey! I was still drinking that!” Josh protested as his leftover coffee lifted from the mug and hovered an inch above it. It splashed down and Tyler exhaled in relief.

“I-I guess I can still do  _ something _ .”

“Now if you can make it work to get me unlimited coffee…” Josh winked.

“That’s illegal!” Tyler objected. “But hitting annoying family members with water at parties isn’t…”

“Speaking of family members… I’m seeing my parents tomorrow. Should we…?”

“I can only imagine their faces.”

Tyler didn’t have to imagine for too long. Mrs Dun answered the door when they arrived together for a family dinner. 

“Josh! You didn’t mention there was someone coming with you today! Nice to meet you—.”

“He’s been with me the whole time,” Josh interrupted.

His mother’s confusion turned to astonishment as Tyler offered his hand and said, “Hello, I’m Tyler.”

“You’re— you’re not… you are… Bill, can you come in here?” She was sheet white, calling for her husband to see the impossible. 

He appeared, trailed by Jordan and Abby. 

“Who’s—”

“Tyler?” Jordan exclaimed, 

“Wait, that’s totally Tyler! He looks just like I remember,” chimed in Abby. 

“Except older,” said Jordan. 

“It’s me!” Tyler did ‘ta da’ hands and wriggled his still-webbed fingers. Both of Josh’s parents stared. 

Josh cleared his throat, regretting not forewarning— he wasn’t one for grand pronouncements, but he went for it anyway. “I know you’re probably not going to understand what’s happening right now, but yes— this is  _ the _ Tyler I’ve been talking about my whole life. He’s now pretty much human and so you can finally see him. I’ll explain when you’re ready, but just know that I love him and will be spending the rest of my life with him.”

Mrs. Dun smiled, trying to regain her composure. “Well… you may have to give us some time, but first… I have spaghetti and meatballs waiting for us in the kitchen. If you two could come help me carry some plates, we can eat now.”

Dinner has awkward moments and pauses as people searched for the right questions to ask. The dynamic was something no one had encountered before— how do you talk to someone who has known you for many, many years, that you have never really met? Tyler took it all in stride, and Josh was trying hard not to tear his lip up in anxious gnawing. 

It was going to take time, but Josh knew they would be okay when his mother turned to Tyler to say, with a hand on his forearm, “I just want to tell you,” she paused and took a deep breath, “thank you for saving Josh’s life, and for being there for him all those years.”

Tyler nodded, face serious and taking Josh’s hand in his other free one. 

“So… are you two going to get married?” Ashley asked— she too had recognized Tyler when she arrived, excitedly telling her husband all about him.

“Yeah. Probably soon,” Josh said. “Tyler made his promise and it’s time for me to make mine, officially.”

“I’m assuming at the beach?” His father said with a smile.

“Of course,” Tyler replied.

And like that, with the prospect of a ceremony and party to plan, Tyler began to finally slide visibly into the fabric of the Dun family. 

…

“Now if your mask stops working for whatever reason… or if you get scared—anything— just start swimming to the surface. I won’t be hurt.” Tyler fumbled with the equipment; he’d been hyper all day. 

“Ty, don’t worry,” Josh said soothingly, pulling his hands away and guiding him to look him in the face. “I’ve taken a bunch of lessons and you’re there. I’m in good hands. Are you nervous about your parents meeting me?”

“No… yes,” Tyler admitted. “I know you’re the one, because I chose you and we’re meant to be together. And it shouldn’t matter what they think, but there’s that part of me that wants my parents to understand  _ why _ and to accept us.”

“Makes sense.” Josh placed a quick kiss on Tyler’s nose. “But don’t worry— I’m a catch… there’s a fish home in there somewhere.” He kissed Tyler’s nose again. “C’mon, let’s get married.”

“For the first time, at least.”

“First time today.” They were going to have two ceremonies— one underwater and one beachside. Josh got scuba certified just for the occasion, and Tyler was still able to breathe underwater. Tyler’s parents were going to meet them, along with other guardians. Though Tyler left the guardian community, there was no ill will, and they were happy to do a binding ceremony for them. 

Hand-in-hand, they waded into the sea; Josh was quite ungainly in his diving gear. It didn’t take them long to find the gathering. While Tyler may have left them behind, the welcome was still warm. Both were embraced by the assembled guardians, about thirty of them. Seaweed was draped around their shoulders like garlands. 

Josh couldn’t speak, but somehow they knew what he was feeling; both of Tyler’s parents tenderly touching him with admiration in their eyes. He knew he had been accepted. Josh, though was most overcome with how ethereal Tyler appeared deep underwater. He could barely keep his eyes off him— his soon-to-be husband. 

“ _ I love you,” _ Josh signed, and Tyler returned the gesture. 

They were turned to face each other, and the eldest-looking guardian began to sing in a language Josh couldn’t discern, but the others began to sway. Tyler grabbed his hands and squeezed three times. 

Tyler would have to explain later what happened, what the elder was saying, but knowing at that moment didn’t matter to Josh— they were being joined together as one in the eyes of Tyler’s people. With fanfare and a chorus of many guardian voices, Tyler pulled Josh away, taking him back to the shore so they could be married on land, spending the rest of their days together. 

“Your suits!” Josh’s mother fretted as they emerged from the waves soaking wet. “They’re going to be drenched. The ceremony begins in 10 minutes!”

“It’s not like we didn’t expect it.” Jordan pointed out. 

Indeed, their suits were damp throughout the beach ceremony, but Josh and Tyler only had eyes for each other. If anything, Josh was used to air drying. 

They danced their first dance with their feet in the shallows, Tyler leaning in to whisper “I never thought we’d be here. But… I’m glad how this all turned out.”

“Me too,” was all Josh could manage— the expanse of emotion he was feeling could not be captured by words. The gentle roar of waves spoke for the ocean, which brought them together in the first place. 

…

After all was settled and done, Josh and Tyler made their home at that very beach. Tyler may not have been a full guardian, but the pull to the water was innate, and the urge to protect and save was too trained. He worked a variety of jobs, as did Josh, but his favorite and most consistent work was as a lifeguard. 

“Those red swim trunks look good on you,” Josh would say with a wink and a gentle buttslap as Tyler went off to another day patrolling and protecting the shore. 

Their lives couldn’t be more content— Tyler on his lifeguard stand and Josh working at the local surf shop. At sunset, Josh would come to the daily drum circle and then the two would walk along the beach to their little house. Years passed happily, but a little nagging sense of  _ something _ missing started to bother them. 

“Should we get, like, a dog or something?” Josh suggested, Tyler replying with a look of distaste at a couple with a jumping, bouncing beagle passing by. 

“I don’t know about that, man.” Tyler stared out on the horizon. “Something  _ more.” _

It nestled down, but as always, the ocean provided the answer in its own way. 

It happened on their walk home, Tyler noticing first “There’s something there!” He exclaimed, pointing at some shape nestled between two logs of driftwood up ahead. 

The two jogged closer to find a baby lying on a pile of seaweed. 

“Oh no!”

“I’ve got her,” Josh scooped her up. 

“Is she okay?” Tyler pressed along Josh’s side and they looked down at the baby in his arms. 

It was obvious from the moment they inspected her closer that she wasn’t… entirely human. Her fingers and toes were webbed like Tyler’s and she had a bit of the pointed features that characterized the guardians. 

“Is she a lost guardian?” Josh asked, and she looked up at him with curious eyes. She hadn’t cried yet, seemed like she knew before them that this was meant to happen. 

“I’ll check with my parents if there’s anyone nearby that’s missing a baby, but… I dunno, there’s something different about her,” Tyler touched her cheek, unable to hide the smile growing across his face. “The… ocean works in mysterious ways.”

“You think we’re supposed to take her home?” Josh asked, knowing the answer wasn’t needed. 

Their feet carried them— the new family of three— home. She was their gift, and they gave her a name meaning ‘of the sea’, their lives finally feeling complete— a full circle. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!! Trenchtowel on twitter, teeentyonepilots on tumblr. 
> 
> Inspired by that vine of Tyler appearing next to Josh, washing his hands in a urinal, with a special nod to the fact that Josh only air dries and never dries off fully

**Author's Note:**

> This has been a long time coming and I’m so grateful for the incentive to finally finish. It was interesting to walk through how my writing style has grown since then and try to meld the two together. 
> 
> Thank you to Pat for the inspiration! 
> 
> I’m teeentyonepilots on tumblr and trenchtowel on twitter so come chat!


End file.
